My 15 Year Self

Posted: July 18, 2013 in Raymond Vaughn

Dear 15-year old Raymond:
I know that you feel like what happened to your mother when your father killed her was your fault. It was not. I understand that your see this has caused you a lot of pain, losing your mother and not really knowing why. You told yourself that only if you could have stopped your father, things would have been different. Raymond you were only seven years old, there was nothing that you could have done. I know that you are going through some feelings that are new to you and I am sorry that there is no one for you to talk to. I want you to think back to that day. Try to remember what happened. Raymond, I want you to know how much I love you. I want nothing but the best for you. Raymond for you to have peace in your life, you have to let go of the past.

There will be people in your life that will try to put you down. They will say, “Why can’t you be like your sister?”, “You will never do anything with your life”. Do not believe them. They are repeating to you what was always spoken to them. Like you, there are also vulnerable. For them, “verbal violence” is a way of life. And as Judith Butler says, in this way of life “the means to secure self-defense are limited”, but let this fact secure you: I want you to know that you can do anything that you put your mind to regardless of what they say.

You are a very special person. You can’t let the things that have happened in you past control your future. I know sometimes you feel like you want to die. But not yet, there are things that you have to do. 15-year Raymond, I know that right now you are too young to know what you are feeling. My hope for you is that you find someone that you can talk to. I know holding on to these feelings will cause you to do something to hurt yourself and lash out at people. But you can’t let violence become a way of life. If you do, it will take you places that are not good for you and lead you down the path of destruction.

  1. Liam says:

    Thank you for your contribution, Raymound. It was very moving. Aside from how powerfully written it was, I also liked how you used elements of the reading to inform your perspective. This ability to use ideas from one sphere to illuminate a situation elsewhere in life is important to doing philosophy. Keep up the good work.

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